Around the Water Cooler

Welcome back from a long Memorial Day Weekend. You’re probably nursing your two day hangover, sun burnt, and contemplating every life decision you’ve made up until now. While you were smashing Coronas and overpriced Miller Lites at the OD, Princeton or Keenan’s I was compiling everything you’ve missed over the weekend. Don’t worry you can thank me later.

But first let us remember the reason we get to go down to South Jersey, Dewey, and OCMD.

 

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It was funny when he would wear his Ocean Drive t-shirt and slam beers with fans as an elite center in the NFL–he was “The Everyman”. After he jumped off sides multiple times a game this year and is in trouble of getting cut; it got old real quick.

 

R.I.P to the former Phillies and Tigers great Jim Bunning. The tribute done by MLB Network, and narrated by the golden pipes of Matt Vasgersian, did a fantastic job for the 1996 Hall of Famer and former U.S. Senator of Kentucky. At the end of his illustrious 15 year career he finished with 224 wins and 2, 855 strikeouts. The 9x all star was the only player to throw a no-hitter in both leagues (his NL bid was a perfect game on Fathers Day in 1964 for the Phillies). Speaking of fatherhood, Jim Bunning was the original Philip Rivers, spawning nine kids.

 

Good to see Joe West did a guest umpiring shift in the minors over the weekend. The catcher tagging him at the end was the ultimate “F you”.

 

No matter what your MDW weekend was like you probably didn’t turn up as hard as Tiger Woods. That’s the look of every guy’s father the day after he tries to party with you and your friends at your college graduation party. One too many Denny’s Grand Slams last night if you know what I mean.

 

It also looks like Nolan Carroll is already learning the Cowboys’ playbook.

 

This is the perfect time to plug that “Philly Beer Week” is back starting Thursday, June 1st. Here is the definitive guide to all the happenings around the city.

 

Philly is installing jack-off dispensers for the homeless to use around the city.

 

Former Phillie Vance Worley gave up a towering 443 foot shot, that bounced off the window pane of the Marlins’ park, to future Phillie Mike Trout.

 

A-Rod strikes a deal with ABC News. First Fox Sports now GMA with Michael Strahan. A couple of ideas floating around is that Rodriguez would do a sports version of “Nightline” or “World News Tonight.”

 

Here we have “Relatable Bryce”. Many parents want their kids to persevere and achieve a competitiveness destined for first place. The only parents who are for participation trophies probably lived the same life as their kid will inevitably. Stolen lunch money and bullying.

Fast forward to a little over 24 hours…

Here we have “Douchebag Bryce”. I’m all for him charging the mound here especially because he took 98 mph off the hip from a guy he’s owned in the past. Having to use your helmet as a weapon though is the second saddest thing to happen in this fight. The first is landing no punches and watching your coif fly uncontrollably. Bryce Harper deserves a participation trophy for that “brawl”.

 

Editor: Quick it’s the weekend and we need clicks.

Reporter: I got it. Are white chefs appropriating Mexican culture by opening their own burrito trucks?

When is that Elon Musk trip to Mars???

 

Let us get back on board and tell me you don’t get chills from 50,000 people from Manchester singing Oasis’s “Don’t Look Back In Anger” during the first concert in Manchester since the terrorist attacks earlier that week.

 

$900 million in renovations are coming to the PHL airport. Now when your flight is delayed or you wait on the tarmac for 2+ hours at least you’ll have more outlets and iPads to play with in the terminal.

 

Below is a picture of Shaq’s foot. I’m warning you…

 

 

 

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Are you sure?

 

 

 

 

Steven Souza…jussssssst a bit outside.

 

Gregg Allman passed away this weekend at the age of 69 and what better way to honor him than by blasting Midnight Rider in your cube on the Tuesday after MDW weekend. Let your boss, who probably grew up in this era, know how culturally sound you are.

 

We’ve all said something to our significant other that has started a fight when we were “hangry”. This Palestinian judge banned divorces during Ramadan for that exact reason.

 

For the blue collar folk that still take their lunch pail to work. Septa is increasing fares in July.

 

A couple of thongs, a couple of Extenze makes for a crazy night in the Johnson household.

 

Say what you want about Richard Sherman and the negativity he receives for being a bad teammate or on-the-field issues, but when’s the last time you’ve heard of a player have better off-the-field issues than on it?

 

The first look I got at the thumbnail I thought it was Wentz and Matthews bonging beers.

 

I hope Pope Frankie becomes self aware and #PopeShade becomes the norm.

 

 

David Coleman Headley was one of the lead planners in the Mumbai attacks that killed 166 people. His mother still owns the notorious Khyber Pass Pub on 2nd street in Olde City.

 

1 Comment on "Around the Water Cooler"

  1. Thanks for the pingback to our Philly Beer Week post!

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