Top Philly Athletes I’d Love to See Run the Broad Street Run

I hate marathons, half marathons, and really any type of run that causes the city to shut down major roads. It’s a pain in the ass to get around just so thousands of people can take an Instagram picture at the finish line to show everyone how awesome they are. You beat your Personal Record? Cool – don’t care. Go home and shower and get out of the bar I’m at because you smell horrible. I don’t go play a game of pick-up and then take my whole friend group to the bar wearing a medal to let you know I did something.

Just a complaint I have, but I know that marathons will never stop. So I came up with a list of former and current Philly athletes that I would love to see run the Broad Street Run.

Todd MacCulloch

MacCulloch isn’t in the best shape of his life these days. He’s pivoted from playing in the NBA and winning one-on-one matchups on the Chapelle Show to being a pinball star. Unfortunately, MacCulloch has a rare foot disease that probably significantly contributes to his current size, but it would still be hilarious to see an enormous 7-foot white dude hovering over everyone.

Ilya Bryzgalov

Can only assume that Ilya would get to City Hall, stop, contemplate the meaning of the race and his entire life, and then leave.

Curt Schilling

Curt’s played through significant injuries and won his battle with cancer. There’s no arguing that he is a tough M’Fer, even if he might be a little nuts. Would love to see if he could handle journalists writing about his performance.

Nelson Agholor

I would suggest that we simply do a “drop a pass, run a mile” with Nelson, but he’d probably have to end up running more than 10 miles.

Jason Peters

Jason Peters is terrifying. Imagine him lumbering towards the finish line as a bunch of runners that weigh 200 pounds less than him scattered for safety.